THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE INNER HEALING
Inner travel**3/14/2022
Part 1
I prayed with some friends from Morningstar Church in Charlotte over Zoom that week.
The sisters prophetically perceived the heaviness and the hidden burden I carried in my heart and advised me to focus on inner healing. Lately, I have been going through a heartbreaking experience that has left scars on my heart, but I really didn’t want to dig into that. I was thinking: “inner healing, not again”. I really wanted to move past "me, myself, and I".
After an initial irritation on my part, because of a debate about my family’s past - one dear sister just wanted to make sure, I was forgiving everyone and everybody, for some reason, nearly everyone believes all troubles we experience in our inner beings, are from our family’s past. But I would not totally agree with that. But on that occasion, I sensed is better to let go, and don’t try to push the revelation of the new man, of what we have become in Christ. Because sometimes we have our theology right, but our heart experience is not there yet. So I was willing to submit, once again, to a healing process, just in case something is still there.
But the Holy Spirit took me on a truly fantastic inner journey as we began to pray together and healed my wounds. I had many experiences with Him, but this was the most out of the box ever, and somehow one of the most intimate.
So I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me through, as my sisters were quietly praying in the Spirit, and told them step by step, what I was hearing and seeing. He knows everything and He really surprised me this time. What and how it was shown to me, totally revolutionized my view on inner healing and gave me a new insight.
Since I can't compare what I saw with anything, since nothing like this has ever happened to me in my life, I didn't add any comment, conclusion, or anything other than what I saw. There is also no interpretation because at the moment I have nothing clever in my mind to add.
I heard a voice saying: "This is Day One."
That’s what He showed me.
I found myself in front of an apple tree in my grand-grand father's orchard in Sigade, a place that I remembered from childhood. Behind the trees climbed a grassy slope that covered the hill. In the background, a mighty mountain rose to the sky, which had been cut in half and looked a little scary. It was blue-gray. I stared at the mountain for a while, a little scared, but then I saw a giant lion above it, which filled me with hope, and I went through a narrow rock overhang in the mountain. I found myself in a lion and walking in it as he walked, the lion glowing golden and there was a lot of space to move in the lion. In the inner being of the lion, a path opened up, like a golden paved road leading forward. I walked to the left and I walked along the path and on both sides of the path tall cypresses of dark green color appeared. I was still on the road and I was still in the lion.
My perception of things changed dramatically and was quite multifaceted and broad. The outside world existed in several layers. The horizon on both sides of the path turned into a commodity that began to be cut by big hands. In a few minutes, they completely reshaped the whole sky, hands cut, made pockets and buttonholes, and cut from bright patches of multicolored fabric in pastel shades, some of the patterns were checkered, and some were light blue stripes and small flowers. I remembered how one day I decided to go to the old town when I was fourteen years old and enrolled in a sewing course, I remembered how I walked alone from Žusterna, where I lived, when I was a child, to the old town of Koper and learned to sew, there was a small cute room with a big window and an open door with a bunch of older women. I remember the sun shining through the wide-open door and window. In the context of the heavenly vision, the memory acted purely unearthly, as if it had not happened to me at all.
I was also aware of my inner spiritual man and heart as if I was completely transparent and had 2 types of eyes, everywhere. As if my being were a mold and had eyes on the inside, full of eyes that would be turned inwards in see into deep things of my heart and spirit. At the same time, I saw all my inside - my spiritual being - in all directions, and at the same time, I saw my heart, which, like another dimension, was a special place inside me in my chest, but still part of my spirit. At the same time, with the outer surface of my being, I was fully aware of the surroundings in all directions and several layers, as if my being was also covered with many eyes on the outside. As if all my perceptions were aware of the action of the Holy Spirit who was in me, on me, and under me, and me in Him and through Him and under Him.
Throughout my journey I was just watching, it completely overwhelmed me, there was not a single thought in my mind or emotion in my soul, my soul was completely quieted, I was just totally focused on a complete perception of all the external and internal happenings. As if my mind were as transparent as the rest of my body, without its perception and processing. Thought processes are too slow for this dimension I have tasted. There was no room for the formation of a normal stream of thought or developing feelings in my soul.
Through the different areas I traversed, I perceived different happenings within myself, my spirit, and my heart.
In the distance, in the middle of the road, I saw something that looked like a small round pearl at the end of my journey. I thought it might just look like a pearl, but it’s something different and bigger. This is probably the only thought that came to my mind during the trip.
As I walked, I found myself between fluttering walls that looked like silk, and narrow strips reaching high into the sky. As I walked on, they turned into flags, long pointed flags on sticks, they looked like medieval flags, they were of different colors, and different countries and some had crosses on them. Then I saw the silver armor, and I was aware of the strong soldiers around me, all dressed in silvery clothes. It was then that I realized I was in a king sitting on a horse. I was in the king and the horse at the same time. Just as the king on horseback moved, so did I in him. I can’t say I was hidden in the king, I saw myself again in all dimensions - myself, my insides, my heart, and at the same time the king and his horse and at the same time his army and the landscapes around him.
In front of me the path changed and became like a cart track, unstable, through my heart I felt dry branches stretching from the stone wall on both sides of the path, and I began to experience fear in me and if there was no Holy Spirit in me, on me, next to me, below me and above me, I wouldn’t want to see because of fear.
There were more and more dry branches and there became arms stretching and cracks in the stone wall on both sides of the path became gratings through which the arms stretched and begged for help. My whole being was transparent, I looked inside and saw sadness and coldness in my heart as if those hands were stretched across my heart. I didn’t want to see it, but I gathered myself anyway and saw the faces, the white faces of the people, and wondered why no one was helping them. Because it was all part of my heart, I was scared. And if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit and so much glory, I wouldn’t be able to see it. Fear doesn't let you see.
I saw that a scar remained on my heart because of that grief and I had to believe that the Holy Spirit would heal me and that I wanted to continue to keep all my eyes open despite the grief. Grief blinds the heart.
Then it seemed as if a completely transparent liquid crystal was flowing into my being from a blue vessel of incomprehensible shape, and my spiritual man was changing, it gained different structure and strength when that was happening. Liquid crystal was from the sea of glass before the throne of God, only it suddenly appeared quite close and became part of my being. I became like another spiritual substance, stronger than the previous one. We are beings of light and light is the most powerful substance. I was aware of the strength and complete transparency of all that we are, in God. For the curtain of flesh somehow did not exist. Even the self-awareness of the soul was not there. Everything I saw with my many eyes seemed completely natural and normal to me and as if this is the most common thing in life that I walk in constantly.
I looked into my heart because something appeared there, it was a nest, there were 2 blue jacks in it from which two birds suddenly appeared, two blue birds grew up instantly and flew away.
I found myself next to a woman of dark skin, she was dressed in traditional national clothes, she could be somewhere in Nigeria that suddenly appeared next to me. She had her head wrapped in a turban, carrying a large basket of fresh white bread on her shoulder. When I saw it, my inner man was filled with bread, I became like fresh bread. I followed her over the old bridge and we found ourselves in a dirty slum, in a very poor area. But because of her and her basket of bread, the air was crystal clear and fresh and the complete opposite of the natural environment. Children who were white birds came to her. At the same time, they ran through the mud, and at the same time, they flew through the air. Children were coming to her through it, and birds were flying through the air around her, but I didn't see anyone coming right to her and cutting into the basket, as if the recording had taken place a few times over and over again.
I found myself in China. A funny little girl stood in front of me as if she had just stepped out of a propaganda communist poster from the 1960s. She had a large head, a broad torso, and broad arms. She was wearing a red skirt and black shoes and white stockings. She was standing in the grass in front of a large factory. Behind her, I saw a tall brick chimney. Everything was overgrown and gloomy. I entered the picture as if in darkness. Within the spiritual landscape, complete darkness reigned. I saw a group of people huddled at a table very far below me. Everyone had a candle in their hands. They looked as if they were deep, deep underground. Despite the great darkness, I perceived no fear or danger. I waited for something to happen, but they just sat there, holding their candles firmly in their hands. They stared into the flames and did not talk to each other. Then a whirlwind of wind blew from the depths, carrying away the flames of the candles. They turned into tiny white feathers that the whirlwind lifted higher and higher until they rose into the sky through a small round opening in the darkness. A few clouds and the blue of the sky could be seen through it. As I stared at it, I found myself on the other side and saw that the round opening I saw in the black sky was an opening at the top of a factory chimney in its natural dimension. I noticed that no one had mowed the grass around the factory.
The journey was inward and upward and instantly brought a very strong inner healing to my heart and the inner man, that I can feel even now. My heart has gained strength, my inner man is firmer and I am more aware of my spirit than ever before.
There are a few quotes that came to my mind. In Colossians and Ephesians, about the enlightened eyes of our hearts and about how all the treasures of knowledge and wisdom are hidden in Him. And I remembered the psalm of how He prepared our way to Zion in our hearts.
"How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, In whose heart are the highways to Zion!" (Ps 84: 5).
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Man has several types of eyes in addition to natural ones. They are the eyes of the inner man, which are the light of the whole being, they are the spiritual eyes, and they are the eyes of the heart. And then there are the eyes of God, which are full everywhere. I’m preparing an article with the teaching about the EYES OF THE LORD and biblical references, that I will put on site soon.
The eyes of the Lord came to see me (ref. 2 Chr 16:9) and through me.
I felt completely whole after that experience. There was nothing hidden anymore, and no need to hide. The brokenness in my heart was not mine, it was from many others, who were trapped in religion and wickedness and I felt so helpless because I didn’t have the power to help them. Sometimes we have to not be quick to judge others or ourselves because the Lord is the only one who reveals the secrets of one’s heart. And they are not necessarily the result of our environment, upbringing, character, or things that we have done or others did to us. There are also sacred and deep things that the Lord wants to reveal.
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